Now that I have a little time alone and some henna dye sitting in my hair, I've been thinking...I've gone through quite a few transitions so far this year:
I moved the entirety of my San Luis Obispo childhood bedroom into my Toyota Camry and moved up to San Francicso with my boyfriend at the time in May of last year. I shortly realized Edo wasn't ready to be so serious with me and committed many acts of insensitivity that made me very unhappy to live with him. In short, he did and said things that reminded me of my dad as an alcoholic, and in addition didn't seem to understand my emotional needs. This sometimes included going to bed early, waking up early, to be ok with, well, being at home in general.
We lived together for about six months and then I moved out of that place, which included breaking the lease and finding new tenants in a few weeks time, as well as finding a new place to move into. If this were to be found in nature, I would have been a hermit crab moving from a roomy, old shell to a much tighter, newer one. What a strange transition.
The place I discovered to be my new home is this little polished and refurbished house right next to school; closer to the university than my previous apartment, in fact. It's small and cute and noisy since I have roommates, but I'm overall happier. I have to say, not having to wait for someone like my ex to come home, or dreading him coming home with a swarm of his drunken friends, is quite a relief. It's hard to believe my year lease at 210 Jules Apt #5 would have been just about up by next month; I don't know if I could have waited that long.
Since then I've tried to work hard at school, at my job, and on myself. I will admit, I've been spending a lot of time with my new man...but that doesn't mean I've not seen to bettering and taking care of myself: I joined a gym and bought training sessions which has shrunken and lifted my soft ass, tightened my abs and legs and made me much more confident. I've also been getting facials monthly (amazing results so far...my pores are very refined), and have stopped eating as much bread and dairy.
As a result my skin is glowing, my body is tightening, I'm looking and feeling more and more like the adult woman I want to be and I'm overall much more confident. I think about the young woman who lived with her boyfriend only months before and how she sat around waiting for him at times. I'm not her anymore - I don't have to live that lifestyle. It's difficult for me to admit, but we did have some fun times too, and I think of him (semi)often. However, my thoughts are with hope he's doing well and that in the last stages of our relationship we really weren't matching up to make a good future. I used speculation to judge whether or not I could stand to be so different from him...it was all too painful to compare the similarities between my parents' relationship and Edo and I.
Now for the fun part...I've definitely found a few recipes for my own happiness throughout these recent trials:
A space heater
A good diet (with exception of a little ice cream or hot chocolate from time to time)
Silk stockings/lingerie/vintage-anything
An understanding friend (who can listen!) but who I want to be there for, too
LUSH cosmetics/hair dye and my skin regiment
Eyebrow tinting
Massssssssageeeee
Sunscreen
My bike<3
Hot water.
Tumblr
High fashion
Figure drawing/studio
Catching up with family
School
Coffee! (& making it, too)
The gym...yes, the smelly gym; like a hamster cage, but it gets the job done ;3
Coconut oil
That I'm getting better with age
And more I'm sure
Since I'm talking about me and what I want, I think I'll look at some things I've been lusting after...hehehe.
Products de Lush
Karma soap/Karma Bubble bar/Karma Kream
Ocean Salt
Pied the Pepper foot lotion
Black stockings
Dirty toothy tabs
Caca noir henna hair dye
Retread and Jungle conditioners
Jasmine and Henna Fluff Ease
Schnuggie body butter
De Rag & Bone
Leina Jacket
I would love make up products:
An eyelash curler
California Kissin' lip gloss
Benetint lip balm
Mimi Holliday bras 32A
But...
I need to save money.
No comments:
Post a Comment